Colunas, Pediatria

Lágrimas do limite

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Limite. Está aí uma coisa difícil de medir, quando é hora de impor os limites. Qual é o grau de tolerância correto e o que realmente é correto. Muitos sentimentos entram em jogo e colecionamos mais temas para o livro `dilemas da maternidade`. É sobre isso que conversamos na Coluna de Pediatria de hoje. Texto em colaboração com a Clínica Villa Vita.

limites_na_educacaoTodos nós sabemos da importância dos limites nos cuidados com a criança. Porém poucos compreendem a dificuldade e a complexidade da construção de tal processo. O que “tem que” ser feito, o “certo”, o “errado”, encontramos com muita facilidade em livros, revistas, opiniões de especialistas e em opiniões de quem nem havíamos perguntado. Tudo isso pode até ser verdade. Porém tal verdade, muitas vezes, não ressoa com o coração.

Essa verdade torna-se, então, algo imposto, como uma lei ditatorial, cruel. A verdade sem amor é crueldade. A dificuldade de construir limites vem daquilo que ressoa em nossos corações: medo, raiva, culpa e tristeza. Medo de uma fragilidade frente ao diferente, raiva diante frustração e culpa que a mãe sente mesmo antes da criança nascer.

Acredito que culpa seja um derivado dos cuidados, logo mais intenso na mulher devido sua capacidade de maternagem. Culpa por não ser a mãe/pai perfeito, impotente de “proteger” o filho das mazelas da realidade e dos sentimentos acima citados. Finalmente a tristeza, que surge quando os limites são construídos.

Limite é cuidado, é amor, é a possibilidade de se construir UM, um indivíduo. Indivíduo com autonomia, independente, separação. Dor. Muitas vezes não temos condições de suportar tal dor e tais sentimentos. É por isso que precisamos de ajuda. Ajuda das instituições, das relações familiares, dos amigos, profissionais da saúde…

Nunca seremos os pais perfeitos que podem dar conta de tudo. E suportar tal dor já é uma grande tarefa. Suportar tal dor e conseguir se manter ao lado do filho… É ser super pais.

Autor – Dr. Cícero T. Kobayashi – Psiquiatra

 

lmite

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